change.

i am bangin' it these days. i am searching. i am growing. i am feeling. i am living. i am loving. i am missing. i am content. i am uneasy. i am emotional. i am hurt. i am fixing. i am expanding. i smile. i cry. i laugh. i speak. i think. i write. i am watching. i am hoping. i am patiently waiting. i am stressed. i am worth it. this is worth it. i am everything i can amount to.
furthermore.
i am me.

"we do not grow absolutely, chronologically. we grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. we grow partially. we are relative. we are mature in one realm, childish in another. the past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. we are made up of layers, cells, constellations." -anais nin.

eventful.

this weekend i had to distinct pleasure to not only represent my graduate campus at open house and participate in my first roundtable discussion, but i also managed to see an open rehearsal for a new off-broadway show, port authority while i was spending my day upstate. to be honest. i really felt like an old lady as i spent my saturday in dobb's ferry and pleasantville. i went to numerous antique shops and fairs. went to a tea room. made friends in the pleasantville book shop, got sunburnt and felt very sophisticated, to say the least.



as per this. conor mcpherson, let's face it, never fails to doubt or let anyone down. this is another example of his moving, heart-wrenching peices of art. the psych grad student in me is doing dances because the overall themes and plot summaries and how all the characters suffer the same EXACT! problems at different stages is portrayed in such a beautiful and remarkable way. and there is no doubt in my mind that the casting was an exceptional choice. i was moved to tears a few times during the show, and that was just at the open rehearsal!! can you imagine. previews are still a few weeks away, so the actors can do nothing but better themselves from this point forward. i was floored by how amazing the content was bought to life.
suffice to say, i am counting down until opening night and crossing my fingers i can have a run-in with conor one day. he needs to know how remarkable and inspirational he is. and thanked, for all the beautiful things he writes. i urge all of you, to support this show that is bring produced by the atlantic theatre company. i cannot talk it up anymore. it's unlike any other.

cherry blossoms.

i would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man
if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature
and more time tasting her sweetness
and respecting her seniority.
-- e.b. white

to new beginings.

take this sinking boat and point it home.
we still got time.



new obsession. him. her. the little film that could. the music. the beauty.
no matter how far your dreams are, it's possible.
MAKE ART. MAKE ART. MAKE ART.


hope, at the end of the day, connects us all.

xo.

3 a.m.

It's strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book.

tuesday's task:

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.

my best friend.

"and if difficulties were necessary to increase the splendor of the effort, what could be harder for a restless, ambitious girl than to give up her own hopes, plans, and desires and cheerfully live for others?" -lousia may alcott, "little women"

i believe that line from a beautiful piece of literature was written about my grandmother and i when we were both werent looking. and when we both weren't aware. i may still not be aware that it was written with me in mind, but my grandmother begs to differ.

my grandmother is hurting tonight, and i am hurting alongside of her. i ask that all of you, pull together your little hearts and keep her in your thoughts and prayers. keep me your wishes too, as my grandmothers heart is instilled in my heart, too.

xo.

my mind speaks from my t-shirts.

with beautiful weather, comes my t-shirt collection. totally forgot about this favorite. snagged it from target a few seasons ago. target, lately, always has the illest (yes, i said illest) collection of graphic/vintage T's. ranging from rolling stones T's to a vast collection of beatles T's to T's supporting go green efforts and world peace. this one, being one of my favorites. i love it. i love t-shirts. i love colors. i love prints. i love going through my summer clothes and falling in love all over again with my favorite t's. and more importantly, i love peace.

reaching out is what lonely people do.

i went through a huge ryan adams kick, i think, during my junior year of college. i was pretty in love. he was all i listened to. im sure i still have a ryan adams tee somewhere mixed in with my greek week, rush, college and other tee's i bought back home with me from my tiny apartment in central pa. i mean, let's face it. the man, ryan adams, is genius. end of story. sad to say, the love faded, or perhaps i got bored with the music as i began work in the real world. one or the other.

however. all good things come back into my life sooner then later. i made no hesitations to pick up 'easy tiger' when it was relased. gave it a few listens. moved on. whatever. good album ryan adams, now let me focus on other things. apparently that is what my mind said. my dear friend stef on the other hand, IS ryan adams. she is all about him which has caused me to fall back into my ryan adams love.



easy tiger makes me so happy and proud. proud to see how he has (somewhat) straightened up his messy life, and happy because it is a reminder of so many good memories i have had with his words and his music. ive never stopped supporting him, but i needed a push from someone, to give him a better listen and some more love that he truly deserves.

lately though, between his old and current lyrics... and his blog... and his words... he has been speaking straight from my heart. so, thank you, ryan adams, for being true. or staying real. and for saying it how it is.

Keep Making Art,
and when you get tired; eat,
and/ or watch movies, every kind
make tea and then Keep Making Art.
That Will Keep You From Becoming
"THEM"
- You Know-
those people
who could, but don't
and know there is nothing left for them
them, the terrible them
that tear down the ones
WHO NEVER GAVE UP
on the dream
because you and me kid,
we were made of that stuff
and were born to dream,
even sometimes
for "them"
- ryan adams.

backwards with time.

no seriously. that is my favorite video. no matter how many times i watch it, tears pour off my face because i laugh so hard.

obviously it has been a slow week if this is all i have to share you with all.

xo.

PS:

bored tomorrow night?

chris garneau is having a show at the canal room tomorrow night, (which is on w. broadway at canal st). it's his last ny date for awhile and tickets are only $15! plus, the canal room is such an interesting and posh 'venue' if you dare even call it that. if my plans weren't set for tomorrow evening, i would be there.

tickets available via canal room website or at the canal room box office.

please go and show some support. chris is such an amazing, genuine and talented guy.

living of love.

with march long gone, it's time to welcome in april! this means we are closer to summer, which is closer to sundresses and the beer garden in astoria, and day trips to the wineries out east. this also means sweaty subway cars and hairy men in bathing suits at tobay beach. just some of the many perks of being a new yorker during the hot months.

on my way to work this afternoon, i tried to think of what good things came into my life during the dull month of march. i couldnt think of one thing. i literally had to plop down, open my planner and see what i did and where i was this past month. then it all came back to me. these are the top three big moments of march 2doubleOH8.

first and foremost:



i thought august: osage county was my favorite piece on broadway, but that all changed when boston native, 'lers, came to visit for a weekend. we last minute decided to buy rush tickets to see passing strange - and clearly passing strange won over and now holds the number one spot in my heart and soul. it was one of the most moving, beautiful and emotional pieces i have seen on broadway in a LONG time. when i first saw spring awakening, i felt the same way, but seeing passing strange left me utterly speechless and needing more. i cried through the end, and i dont know if the tears coming down my chin were from the actual scenes, or from the beauty of the play or from the music. everything about that show was remarkable. i cannot rave about it enough. not to mention the cast is GENIUS. stew is a god. and the people who represent his work... absolutely in love.

secondly.



after all the hype and good praise blake bashoff has been getting in spring awakening, i finally decided to check it out. after seeing it in december and watching gallagher pour his heart out on the stage during his last, i was convinced that whoever this blake was, was not going to fill the shoes that were once on that stage and i didnt want anything to do with it or the show. plus, i also needed a break from seeing it so often in december. by march though, my three months had passed and i was due to show my face to the beautiful cast and see how everyone was doing. i was nervous upon seeing someone who was deemed as 'very broadway' to replace the folky-rock voice i was used to with gallagher. but the second bashoff set foot on the stage, i was in love. he has done so many remarkable things with his portrayal of mortiz that it is wonderful. dare i even say, he may be better in SOME parts then the person who originated that role... which says a lot (and i mean, a lot) coming from me. i was, and have been, very pleased with bashoff so far.

& thirdly...
as many of you know, i barely buy things full price at the gap. even with my discount, it always gets marked down a week later and i am miserable. i will splurge on ANYTHING, except for things at the gap. weird, i know.

however! the instant i saw this sweater... i had to have it. i am abolutely in love with it, and own it in every color. the coral is my favorite. i only bought one on sale (yes! they are on sale!) but the rest, full price (plus discount). you will not go wrong with one of these little cardigans. so perfect to layer or wear with a cami.



and of course... there were more little things. the beautiful set eatc/osp had at highline ballroom. my family's annual st. patty's day dinner EVEN THOUGH WE'RE ITALIAN, my trip to philadelphia, wearing my hair curly every day during the month (shocker!), re-living the beautiful story of a tree grows in brooklyn, wilco and vampire weekend being on snl (back to back!), my shopping experience at ikea and of course, the vegan dinner party!

that's all kids. here's to a new month and new possibilities. gypsy and in the heights are on my list of shows to see, as well as adding in passing strange once more, at least. i am a granny this week with bedtime and will be seeing that guy, blake bashoff, tomorrow night, so a girl needs her beauty rest.

till next time. xo.