i know it's not thanksgiving. but lately, i feel blessed. and for this, i am thankful for:
- my lovely grandparents for taking care of their flu-ridden golden child this week. no holding back, they were there. to make eggs, pour oj, feed me my meds, trips to the doctor, changing my bedsheets. little gray hair'd angels, they are. but not just for healing me when i am sick, but for so much more. they amaze me. they adopted me as one of their own when i was ten, and i can never repay them for painting such a gorgeous life for me. a life where i had freedom, went away to school, studied in spain, developed so many beautiful friendships and become who i am today. i love. always. (and i am not embarrassed to admit it. and i was NEVER embarrassed to admit i lived with them either. i always said it loud and proud! who wouldnt when sebna are your grandparents?! c'mon now, they play rock band!)
- kate. for always keeping me sane. always being there. even when i think she wont be there, she is there. like magic! to make me laugh and make me cry. to hold my hand when things are shaky and to know when cheese is the answer.
- my family. for raising me, guiding me, enlightening me and allowing me to be me. we're a crazy, loud, partyin, lawn-guyland crowd. but we rule.
- heartbreak. heartache. losing my first love. we all need that to realize our inner strength. {and so what if i heard a song today that reminded me of him and bawled? that's okay. cleansing is good!}
- intelligence, humor, wit, gratitude, creativity, a bad singing voice -- i love it all! my qualities are beautiful.
- g, my heart. my guider, my rock, my inspiration. i crave his strength and abilities. for always being there and for making me feel like i always matter. (& for getting gifts every year and as i open them hearing "oh. i forgot to get you a card. heh heh, well, it's from me!")
- t, my heterosexual lifemate. my girlfriend. my maid of honor who has my speech written out and my playlist picked, too. and the girl who spends $52 on underwear. always armed and ready for blue moon & and jukebox.
- my mom. for creating me. for being so brave. for fighting for her life. for her art, her journal, her jewelry. for leaving behind pieces of her that are pieces of me. the stories i hear about her, keep them coming. tell me more. she lives forever in my soul and my everyday.
- my quilts. all hand sewn by lovely, strong, beautiful women in my family. many done solely by my grandmother. forever cherished, to be passed down for years/centuries to come.
- faith. questionable but believable. for guidance, breathing, accepting and prayer. for knowing my mom sits in a good place. for knowing that she watches over me. for knowing that the feelings i have, such as my hair moving with no gust of wind, is her. leaning over my shoulder.
- lamps. i just dislike overhead lighting very much.
- my meg bayley - for dancing, being, living and seeing. my other soul, my other eyes, my other mind, my other queen, on the east end. for staying true, finding herself, being a cute yogini and taking a wild journey with me. my little lotus flower.
- my work my work my work. but more importantly, my work wonder-twin. for actually allowing herself to be my work wonder-twin! for laughing at my jokes that are not funny. and for the smiles. and the flowers on my desk after a difficult few days off. and for having an amazing amount of strength, faith, love and happiness towards life and others. nothing but the upmost respect for my wonder-twin.
- sea shells. a collection my mother started and i continued. all over my bedroom. to remind me of her and to feel closer to her. to remind me of places traveled and summers spent in fire island. to help me realize that anything is possible. and that i am strong.
- colors. for making drab things beautiful. possibilities. hope.
- LOVE. because without love, how could i even develop a list of things i am thankful for?
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