Friday, May 30, 2008

dancin my way INTO THE HEIGHTS -



saw in the heights last night with becca. after having our delicious chinese (tofo & broc + white sauce & sesame chick + broc for those inquiring minds) we were so. freakin. delighted. to. see. krysta rodriguez on the understudy board for freakin vanessa. bec & i both knew - this was going to be good.

obviously, bec and i are both spring awakening fans (who isnt these days?). i think i can say for the both of us, when krysta left the show, our hearts both broke a lot. she was completely understated as an understudy, and although she was moving onto bigger and better (hell-o dancing queen in a chorus line) it was sad to see her leave a show we loved. so having the opportunity to see that jem on stage last night, was like relighting the candle! the spark! it was such a good feeling walking into that theatre last night.

but. can we just discuss how amazing the show was? i knew i was going to like it. everyone i know has said "oh it's good! youll like it!" my dear, theatre-going friend jon fox (who has the same taste in shows as myself) said "oh, youll like it!" but it wasnt the same way he spoke to me about august: osage county or passing strange, he just seemed to make it seem, that i would like it. that was that. i wasnt going to LOVE it, i was just going to LIKE it. i was okay with just liking it. i wanted to see it before tony madness and before things get crazy. (with 11 noms, it's bound to sweep, although i am rooting whole heartedly for passing strange, since it's obviously the little musical that CAN). anyways. long story short...

I. LOVED. IT. hands down. want to marry it. thought it was amazing. cried, laughed and wished i was from the DR or PR the entire time. want an abuela RIGHT NOW to remind me of my roots. it was amazing. and krysta?! let me not get into my girl-crush on her. that voice, that 'tude, that look, she's freakin got it and needs to own that role, right freakin now. i am clearly fangirling all things krysta right now, but dude, she freakin deserves it. blew me away. she is a powerhouse!

it was a magical experience. becca and i always have wonderous theatre dates, but i think it will take something good to beat our in the heights experience, and i have a feeling, mary poppins wont be cuttin' it.

(and ps: finally seeing paris and being reunited with my stef, so wonderful!)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

racing tides

spending the next two days in the city with becca. seeing in the heights (finally), eating good food and doing joyous girl things. (this has been the brightest part of my week). have a meeting tomorrow for work at 5am. oh, the joys of visual merchandising. content with this life. minus my chapped lips and the fact that jasmine throws up on my bed, all is smooth and groovy.

"dont dream it, be it".
easy words to say over and over again, but actually "BEING IT" is so hard sometimes. letting down others and the potential for (failure) is always out there. but then again, you dont know until you "BE IT". you gotta take it and run with it. see what happens. sometimes the oddest things and most unlikely things, are lifes biggest surprises.

Monday, May 26, 2008

my daily to do list:

- love openly. holding nothing back.
- stretch. breathe. even when yoga class may be missed, experience the muscles in my body.
- smile at a stranger. make someone's day brighter.
- learn something new. research. expand my mind.
- do one creative thing a day. jewlery. painting. writing. dancing. exploring. let it be eccentric and out of the norm.
- not stress over the calories in a ralph's italian ice. it's summer. live.
- moisturize! moisturize! moisturize!
- reach out to an old friend.
- read. shut down the computer and open a book.
- find what inspires other people and learn from them.
- laugh until tears are streaming down my face.
- go for a bike ride / run.
- look into the clouds and be thankful for my life. this world. you.
- journal in my art journal.
- take a photo of something that moves me. something emotional. something raw. something real. something rare.
- find antique shops and hit them up. big time.
- keep my eye open for that apt in williamsburg with big windows and a spot for jasmine.
- find a new reason to be thankful.
- r e l a x.
- find the good in the bad.
- express my true feelings. no more "i am okay" or "it's fine!" when things are not okay. reach out for help when i need it. i am not super woman and should be taken as so.
- be grateful that weezer covered a song by 'the band'.
- take advantage of (free) summer concerts (avett brothers, much?).
- do one thing a day that frightens me.
- look up a new recipe.
- be grateful.

a whole lot of freakin l-o-v-e:

as tradition holds, every memorial day weekend is spent in fire island. love everything about it, everyone who was involved in kicking off this summer to a freakin bang with myself and the rosey cheeks i gained from this weekends beautiful sun.


(best friends re-united).


(fire island's morning sunshine).


(everything about this photo is perfect and true if you look carefully).

Friday, May 23, 2008



september 17 cannot come soon enough.

materials.

my current issue at hand is:

do i buy a david yurman ring?

or do i get a swiss legend watch?

i am so torn.
(what does this say about me?)

sigh.

ps: i got one of my antique rings cleaned today and the girl thought she was doing me a favor by polishing it and took away all the antique-ness! "oh, it looked dirty!" no. no. no!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Monday, May 19, 2008

4.0 GPA occured this semester. (i also got one last semester as well). for a first year grad student in a field i had no experience, i am proud, and feel accomplished, to say the very least.


why dont individuals appreciate the actions of others?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

i dont like coffee

but i love iced coffee.

and today! free iced coffee day at your nearest DD. go! run! kick those nerves into high-gear ala finals week.


(disclaimer: that is not my laptop. as if i would a.) own a windows computer and b.) put my iced coffee on my beloved mac. get real*)

*get real (c) felipe & ? a la miami.

best friends birthday

is always a reason to celebrate.



matty and i PRE: caribbean. jan 08.
love you. xo.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

right now.

what i am going through right now and what i am about to leave is worse then a five year realtionship breaking up. yes, it opens many doors, preferably some in the brooklyn queens area with an apartment with large windows, but my heart is not content yet. no no no. i hate saying 'see ya later'.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

my latest creation:



i am kind of in love with them.

Friday, May 9, 2008

oh. my. heavens.

Cat Wakes Up From A Nap

the start of my morning:

is rainy. gloomy. chilly. tea-filled. and beautiful with these sounds and individuals:



ps: going back to work after a two day hiatus is not all that comforting.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

today is THE day.

my horoscope today said something along the lines of "take a bow for all of your accomplishments today". and i did.

& is it weird or strange, to bawl your eyes out, saying bye to your professor? my professor is the most warm hearted and intelligent individuals i have ever had the opportunity of knowing and learning from. she is tough, and hard, and difficult, but it's her rigid personality that makes you step up to the plate and prove yourself. as soon as you get past her immediate personality and find the softness in her, she is one of the most remarkable women you will ever met. i survived my first year of grad school with her, and as she was saying bye to me, she just said... the right words at the right time. she made me feel confident about the path i am taking and that i am going to go places after i finish my time at mercy.

in other news: osp's EP is coming out on VINYL. they make me so ridiculously proud, sometimes. i want to give them all such big, strong hugs, right now, for going through what they did earlier this year, and sticking through with it. they are three people who care very considerably much, about the music. it's rare to find people like that these days.

year one: near completion.

i am a mere three classes, one final exam and three papers to be edited and a million articles to be printed from completition of graduate school hell, year one. if i have my way, this is a year and a half (three internships included) until graduation.

exciting. the downside: i am pretty sure, this week, i managed to look and sound like a manic depressive, as two of my three papers and my spring thesis were on forms of depression. of the adolescent. of the woman. and a case study.

other downside: i have not seen my friends in far too long. i have missed out on wonderous theatre and music happenings, i miss home-cooked meals, and i think i forgot how to dress myself when i am not dressing to go to work or sleep.

sidenote:
why why WHY i ask, is the nyc department of education the most awful department of education to access? asking them a question is (honestly) the same as calling india. "please hold" "let me redirect you" "hold on please, let me find out" "oh, please call this number" "go to our website!" i cant anymore. either i need a new state to call home or they need to get their buttons sewed on.

ps: i still want to teach babies how to read in africa. this is my dream. i have told this idea to a few people close to my heart and they all think i am crazy? am i?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

c r e a t i o n s. creating. you.

"I'm always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning . . . Every day I find something creative to do with my life." -Miles Davis



creating yourself. choices. options. possibilities. the chance to take a different path, to change course, to re-evaluate, to learn. how easy it is to get stuck in the same old same old patterns and rhythms.

we always have a choice in how we respond. the only person we can control is ourselves. & this relates to everything.

spring thesis mission statement:

"This is my right; it is the right of every human being. I choose not the suffocating anesthetic of the suburbs, but the violent jolt of the Capital, that is my choice. The meanest patient, yes, even the very lowest is allowed some say in the matter of her own prescription. Thereby she defines her humanity. I wish, for your sake, Leonard, I could be happy in this quietness."
virginia wolf "the hours".

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

march stormed out..

and bought me this:

- a renewed love for mental health therapy and an urge to research research and study child therapy and art therapy.

- good health my family. thank you thank you thank you. we had a scare, but it was eye opening and me appreciate thing so much more.

- delicious wine from napa valley (california) at mary's delicious dinner party a few weeks back.

- love love love. new love. old love.

- a tan. TAN, I SAY.

- a book club. lolita. little lo. lo.

- a love and support for off broadway and off-off broadway shows.

- an aching in my bonest from a new yoga class.

- bangs. i am bangin.

- a love for all things antique.

- a reason to go on a budget. apartment with french doors and large windows and a nice kitchen for michelle and melissa vegan dinner parties and a big living room for kate's keyboard. perfection.

- proof that working hard DOES pay off.

- MY CREATIVITY. it's back! painting. writing. jewlery. quilting. decorating. possibily a pottery class this summer. i am set.

- sunny days which force me to take out my bicycle and run my errands on two wheels.

- and smiles. how can a month pass without bringing me smiles? always.

now it's may's turn to bring me unexpected and expected surprises. i am ready. eyes wide open.

Monday, May 5, 2008

look ma,

no cavities!

for the first time since freggin high school - dr lump graced me with beautiful news that my teethies are HEALTHY. damn straight baby. buying a $150 electric toothbrush and flossing your face off and choking on listerine really DOES work. who would have thought?! of course, i am celebrating, by eating pounds of sugar (swedish fish) right now. as i type this. some people just dont ever learn.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

you know what you can do, RIGHT NOW?

only the best get crowned. (!)

back in cool-ege. i was a zeta tau alpha. and this movie, is about us zeta's! but i cant tell if it's making fun of us, or if it's a good portrayal. what the heck. carren - help me out!



ps: i am really not this nerdy in real life and do not just watch movie trailers all day. (okay maybe i am nerdy but i am not at all a movie buff).

pps: i love the name olivia currently and want to name my daughter that. (i am in no shape or form or frankly, right state of mind, to even begin to think about parenting, but i am just throwing this name out there for the future).

ppps: i am having meatballs tonight and the last time i had a meatball i chipped my tooth very badly. not excited. (in fact, i have a dentist appointment tomorrow at 10:30 a.m. for a cleaning, that i am very tempted to ditch. sorry dr. lump!).

beautiful sunday.

"And above all watch, with glittering eyes the whole
world around you because the greatest secrets are
always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those
who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dah

guilty.



oh hell yes.

Friday, May 2, 2008

am i getting old?

- i spent my friday night at the gym.
- my biggest decision is psychoanalytical therapy? (a lot of work, but possibility of being published). marriage / family therapy? (easy way out, but can be rewarding). child therapy (a mix of art therapy and working with kids. yes! but all nonverbal therapy). phd? (nyu, fordham, columbia). institute? (more money, less time, more experience, but no fancy title next to my name).
- i am torn between what book i want to read next, and look forward to reading whichever book i choose.
- i actually WANT to clean my closet.
- i cant seem to make plans with anyone without having my planner handy.
- i say 'i need a vacation' on a daily basis.
- my back always hurts!
- i am getting more and more wedding invites in the mail. (friends! stop getting hitched).

life.
bring me back to my youth! barbie dolls and playing house and manhunt. right now.

today is a day for:

plaid flannel shirts. tea. colors. hot pink ballet flats. laughter. my glasses. little lo in panera bread. catching up with old friends.

and making the most out of time.

Thursday, May 1, 2008



amazon gave me this little treasure for 99 cents! 99 cents! i read this book in less then twenty minutes. i laughed out loud. i cried on the train. i bought treats for jasmine in chelsea. i re-read it when i arrived home last night. loved it again. cried at the same parts. laughed louder at some new parts. i cuddled with jasmine and fed her treats, numerous treats, and made sure she had a pillow on her window ledge this morning so she could read the news. it makes you value your furry friends so much more.
such a precious story. tom jones lives in my heart.