as if i did not already love the marriage of (my main man) ryan adams & mandy moore...

she pulls this out of her sleeve.

let's all just remember that his first book was dedicated to 'bug'.

i love these two.

BUG.

by: mandy moore.

what would happen if i flew to San Francisco
wouldn't make much sense
from the outside looking in
coming around again

all the answers
far too many questions
all the thing we said
never really put to bed
coming around again

you know i love you
what am i supposed to do
you're so far away
i stay on track
you're all over the map
come back to L.A.

you know i love you
what am i supposed to do
I've been here before
i stay on track
you're all over the map
come back to New York

is this the only way for us to communicate
i put it in a song
didn't really take too long
coming around again
coming around again

what makes you smile?

currently:

- life

- breathing

- an ah-mazing stretch

- bright nailpolish

- green tea

- water. water. water!

- my plants

- my grandmother's facebook account

- calming scents

- the new shower curtain in my bathroom

- smiles from strangers

- smiling at strangers

- recycling! 

- declaring that i need an intervention from the show intervention

- dvr. yes. i said it.

- strong legs

- sunny mornings

- bagels. mmmm

thank you michelle for making ME smile. xo.

extreme freggin yoga:

61-Year-Old Guru BMX Balances on Bike, 300ft Up!

take a moment

did you ever stop and realize how beautiful your life is? it's the little things that make us all happy. it's not having the newest electronic gadget or the trendiest clothes, it's about simplicity and making do with what we have.

for example, i have two email addresses. personal and work. my personal email address was constantly being spammed with advertisements and nonsense that never went into the spam folder. (my spam folder is another sad, sad story). i unsubscribed myself from ALL OF THEM (bye macy's! bye amazon.com! bye to even the daily mutts comics email! what!) and now, all of my emails, are from friends. family. people i love, people i care about. reaching out to me. sharing recipes, words, ideas and laughter. i used to get about 50 emails a day (one day i counted) and only a handful of them were from people i love. now, i get a handful of emails, but when i get those emails, i smile. i dont hit delete automatically. i read them, savour every word, take them all in. it makes me realize how beautiful this all is. something as simple as unsubscribing from advertisements and useless words, puts me in touch with people i love, and just them. no one else. outsiders are gone!

it feels good. and like i said, it's the little things. baby steps. do you want a beautiful life? all you have to do is look around you. make tiny changes. keep away the unwanted, the poison. and let in the comforting, the knowing of what specific things that make you happy - no matter how silly or little they may seem.

"if you want to change the world, first try to improve & bring about change within yourself. that will help change your family. from there it just gets bigger and bigger. everything we do has some effect, some impact". -dalai lama

dear california,

why cant you get it right?

the tuesday message:

If you want to make your dreams come true, wake up.
Wake up to your own strength. Wake up to the role you play in your own destiny. Wake up to the power you have to choose what you think, do, and say.

yesterday, my roommate and i rented bicycles in manhattan, and i conquered two tasks:

1. bike riding in manhattan.

2. bike riding across a bridge! 

went from manhattan to brooklyn. unreal. bridges always look flat, but what is unknown is the incline on a bridge is ridiculous. my legs burnt the entire time, i was pretty sure i was going to go backwards and not forwards, and holy mother, huge emphasis on STEEP.

a lot of super fun, and i am proud of myself for defeating a bridge. seeing so many people walking their bikes up the bridge, while i was riding mine, made me feel good. to know that i have strong legs that can take me wherever i want to go, despite the pain and difficulty. also, a true test of pushing myself came afloat. i pushed out the 'i cant do this anymore' and told myself 'youre almost there! c'mon girl!'.

today i am long island bound to spend time with family and friends. hopefully throw in some bbq's if the weather holds up (please please please!)

---

there is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. my brain & my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness.

---

wings

one of my best friends recently described me as an angel. he told me that when he thinks of me, he thinks of an angel's presence, and someone who is always right behind him, even when he doesnt realize how much he needs that angels love and support. always there, guiding him, supporting him, loving him, watching him, protecting him.

low and behold, i was blown away.
speechless.
me, an angel?

then the universe reminded me. i am.


Marvelous Melissa, you've literally been performing miracles your entire life.

Consciously, deliberately, and with calculated precision.

You get that from me,
The Universe

i have become the proud mama of three new plants. i love them. i sing to them, talk to them, caress them, say good morning and good night to them, feed them, everything i do, i do with them. they make me proud. 

{it seems as though my mind lately has been consumed by words from others...}


Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.
~Eckhart Tolle

The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change so that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger but in wisdom, understanding and love.

When I am an old lady I shall have a lavender bush
and sprinkle the blooms upon my sheets
and under my pillow;
steep it into tea
and press its spikes among the pages of my books.

foodage.

despite the cold factor outside, my heart feels warm again. g and i made last minute dinner plans, and i cooked up an amazing baked ziti (with vodka sauce - mmmm) in a very short time, and we are getting some fresh veggies for some fresh bruschetta,  some tomato salad and we're planning on doing a little garlic bread action. our 'little dinners' always turn into a five course meal. it starts with an email, 'what are you doing this week?' which equals 'let's make dinner,' which then equals, 'we really need to open our own restaurant'. this makes me happy. good  homemade food, good wine, lots of laughs and a beautiful evening. sometimes he surprises me with a little dessert. this naturally, fills my tummy and heart (which i sometimes think are the same thing!) very much.

life is good.

i had my last appointment with my dentist today. i feel like i just had my last therapy session. honestly! i have been there every other week for x many months straight (you please fill in the x, it's too embarrassing for me to even mention) and it ended today. "see you in six months!" strange feeling. 

life is funny.

My wish for you, Marvelous Melissa, is that you succeed beyond your wildest imagination. That you find love in places that astound you. And that you have friends who call you "just because." I dream that you go barefoot more than you wear shoes. That you play as hard as you work. And that you laugh more than you cry. I want you to set the bar high, but not too high. To reach for the stars, but with your toes on the ground. And to never, ever stop dreaming. But most of all, Marvelous Melissa, I wish for your happiness.

And these dreams of mine are what started it all.

Besos,
The Universe

i need inspiration. lots of it.

i am still here. catching up on real life, emails, phone calls and getting back into a normal routine. last week was emotionally draining, and i almost feel emotion-less. to this day, i am drained. slacking. lacking. missing. but in the midst, i am reflecting. on my watch. at my own pace. in silence, in noise, during yoga, during a run, i am being. minding over him and making sure he stays afloat. not asking why, but knowing that things do happen for every reason, and ill be damned if i let that boy feel any differently and go through any more pain. that's that.

THIS TRAILER

makes me smile

SO WIDE.

& the tears come streaming down your face

when you lose something you cant replace.

rest in peace.

may 3, 2009.

difficulty.

right now.

ready for gaga

and insert leopard shoes.

ridiculous.

things that make you go 'hmm...'

you know what is strange? how good it feels to pay my rent every month. to know that a home is really (somewhat) mine, and i can afford it. not many people can do it, but i can do it. and i do it very willingly. i hand my landlord my money, and smile. (i am sure he thinks i am a little crazy to be excited to pay my rent, but i feel satisification!). i love my life. i love that i have the capability to do something as freeing. and staying free. enjoying my freedom.

tonight i go with my bests to see lady gaga. before any judgements are made, please note, tonight is a night where i can dance like a leaping gazelle and not feel any remorse. i feel like i am taking my twelve year old daughter to see the jonas brothers, because george has been waiting for this concert since christmas. it is all he talks about and all he thinks about. i think i am more excited to see him at the concert, then i am to see the lady herself.

"in my childhood, i had a religious assistant who always told me:

if you can laugh with full abandonment, it's very good for your health."

dalai lama