friends ---

yes yes yes.
about freggin time.
please watch them!

james heather and james are good people!

by: elizabeth gilbert

through the looking glass
Unable to see her own beauty, a woman turns to her mirror for a glimpse of the truth.

genius.
she is.
we all are.
do this daily.
youll be amazed at what you see.
in yourself. in your eyes. in your hair.
beauty.

for my exercise savvy friends:

as many of you know, i am quite in love with exercise, staying fit and eating healthy (but understanding that my body does need to indulge in carbs, CHEESE, pasta, beer and white bread here and there). sadly though, this summer, my whole exercise routine was out the window. i used to work a 9 to 5 corporate job, where i was at the gym at 6am... rain, shine, snow, hail, hungover... what have you - i was there. i was in the best shape of my life! then came my retail job, where hours were crazy. i have gained weight, more then i would have liked, but im dealing with it. i understand the consequences of my actions. overnights and working all over the island and manhattan is not sitting well with my healthy lifestyle. working behind a desk, i had a control over my body - what i put in it and how i worked it. working in retail, it's hard to walk past auntie anne's and not crave carbs. working an overnight in the city, it's so easy to slurp down a redbull to give you that energy (what i once used to get from my 6am workouts) and make a stop at starbucks to slurp down even more sugar and calories, and purchase a really, carb induced muffin.

as my time slows down with gap, and my body settles back into a 9-5 job, i am prepping my body for it's time to be fit again. i am a strong strong strong advocate of my gym, new york sports club. ive been to bally's, lucille roberts, synergy... but nysc tops them all. yes, it's pricey, but it's where i have had the best results, and the most fun. i think their staff is great, their equipment is up to date, they are so clean you can shower there barefoot (sadly this is a true story and obviously has been done before by me), and their classes are INTENSE. their yoga classes (hatha yoga is great for breathing exercises and club yoga is good for a work-out yoga) are (dare i say) better then some of the classes i take at dahn yoga.

so, tonight, (this is really the main point of this long, rambling blog) i decided to go to total body conditioning. okay, by the name, i thought i was going to be doing your basic sit-ups, lunges, stretches... you know, the basics. perfect for a girl whose just gettin back into the swing of things after taking a week long break from the gym, to indulge in those carbs she loves! um. let's discuss. total body conditioning was a lifting boot-camp. i am not at all complaining, but i hurt. a lot. for those familiar with the intense spinning class... this is so much worse than that. just remember the first time you went spinning, and how your whole body felt like jelly and you werent able to walk for a good hour or so. imagine that but multiply it by 5. that is what total body conditioning feels like. let's put it simple: i did over 25 push ups (what!!!), lifted my face off, did moves i think only football players should do, did three different forms of lunges and squats, and um, did more lifting. and anytime i tried to pick up a lighter weight, the trainer said "no no no" forcing me to struggle. once again: not at all complaining, it's great to push yourself when you know you can, but not okay when it's going to hurt yourself.

but man, i hurt. the good hurt. the hurt where you know you wont eat that bagel tomorrow and the hurt that will bring you back to the same class in two days, and do it all over. it was hell. it was torture. i thought i was going to pass out and throw up about 23 times. but it was great. check it out. i know those of you reading are members at nysc (or you soon will be, hi shea!). you may hate me for going, but youll love it at the same time!

last night!

i went to the local craft store's twilight super savings sale. (in normal person words = 25 percent off everything in the store). YES! i spent birthday money on beads, crystals, stamps, inks, paints, yarns and needles. i plan to up my creativity top notch this autumn. i am stocked up. i cant wait. im even toying with the idea of quilting a little quilt for my bed.

just something simple like this bad boy to my right. something with solids and prints of the pastel genre. pastel is everything i am against (big bold and beautiful is my trademark) but i am willing to try something different. for those of you who dont know, quilting is (surprisingly) in my blood. my grandmother is a huge quilter (as in - quilts are all over my house) and all my aunts are avid quilters. i love quilting, there is something so rewarding about this hobby, but it takes cool nights and patience and time, which lately i seem to not have enough of. i want to make it a part of my life again, so i can pass it down to my children, and they can pass it down to theirs. (sidenote --- back in the day, there was a male in my family who entered a quilt he designed and quilted himself into a state contest, and won first place. guess who it was.....)

i also have gifts to create before it's too late. my aunts birthday is labor day, and she loves anything and everything homemade she can wear on her ears, around her neck or on her wrist. easy. my grandmother turns 80 september 11, so i have the family making a page (or two!) for a scrapbook for her, and then i plan on making her an eyeglasses leash (normal person words = a necklace that goes around your neck and holds your glasses) and possibly knitting her a vest. the latter part will more then likely be a christmas gift, but it's a nice attempt to think i can knit an article of clothing in three weeks when it takes me years (literally) to finish scarves.

i have also been an addict to the food network's recipe collections and have been cooking up a storm. i have a fresh! homeade! pizza in the oven cooking and have a zillion other dishes i want to create. desserts, appetizers, pastas, vegan dishes, breads! everything! my mouth is watering with ideas. i need a month away from work so i can cook, knit, design and drink tea. lots of tea. all of this, i would like to be done in a soothing state. like colorado or arizona. somewhere where i can sit on the porch in the morning and see nothing but mountains, trees and birds flying high. no planes overhead, no trains, no people fighting for a seat on the subway - just nature and my passions. delicious thoughts.

a week long celebration --

--- has finally ended. with a cup of tea, a smile and jane austen.

if i tried to name everyone who made my saturday birthday so magical, it would be silly. i was overwhelmed by the response, the turnout, the thoughtful cards and the un-necessary gifts. constant movement of friends coming in and out of the beer garden to celebrate me, our friendships and our mutual friends. i am blessed! truly. i had a beautiful day (weather-wise) and experienced true happiness. a utopia. everyone made the journey. from long island to manhattan to even freggin california, i was blessed with so many beautiful friends by my side. even my family showed up! the photos i have are filled with cheesey smiles and pitchers of delicious imported beer. we ended the night back on long island, where the city friends even made the journey. bbq's, left right center and a firepit. a perfect ending to a perfect week.
as sad as i am to see my birthday come to a hault, my body is ready for detox. it has had its fair share of delicious foods and desserts for a long time. it's time to head back to yoga and head back to my running sneakers.

thank you thank you thank you to all you beautiful souls who made my birthday such a beautiful day / week / year. i have not even been my new age for a week yet, and i am already loving what has come my way.

xoxoxo.

!

i am the new owner of something not only patent leather, but it's also a deep turquoise colour from coach. three of my favourite things. george knows me all too well.

tonight was my fondue birthday party, and i wish i had a photo to capture all of the love. in attendance were becca, rachel (who got me a MUTTS tshirt! yes yes yes!), kayla (with beautiful earrings she made herself!), jennifer and the birthday boy himself, kavin. we bathed ourselves in cheese and chocolate fondues and although i drowned myself in carbs and calories, so very worth it. i ate like a little kid and dripped chocolate all over myself, my hair, my water and the table. birthdays are all about indulging. i dove right in. perfect!

afterwards i picked up my city bug (george) and we went out to celebrate to janeen's birthday. where i was blessed with his presence and presents. he never fails to surprise me. tomorrow we hit up (did i really just use that phrase?) the beer garden in astoria. perfect way to end the summer. and only the most magical place on earth. all sorts of great people will be stopping by, and i cant wait to embrace them all.

in other (beer related) news: thinking about hitting up the brooklyn brewery in williamsburg the weekend after labor day with george for a tour. this just shows how classy i am, and my ridiculous love for blueberry ale.

life is good. the past week has been too good. too perfect.

i was sitting on a bench this evening waiting for a friend to get out of class. normally, in the city, even at 7p.m., it's humid. but tonight, it was perfection. there was a breeze (a breeze!) that ran through the streets and gave me chills. my armhairs rose. we went to eat at tosca cafe and had an outdoor seat where the breeze kept us company. the sweet taste of wine kept us warm inside, but the breeze forced us to put on wovens. it was a perfect night.
---
now, i sit in my bedroom, windows wide open, and hear the sound of crickets singing me to sleep. the end of summer is my favourite. waking up to the birds singing to you and the feeling of cool air in the early morning is my utopia. slippers and bathrobes, putting a tea pot on for hot water, hearing the leaves fall... yes please. mother nature knows the song of my heart, and loves to sing it back to me every night and day.

-----------birthday!

i am 53 minutes into being 24 and have already cried like a baby. the amount of love that i have gotten in the past 53 minutes is beautiful.
b e a u t i f u l.
i am so lucky for the individuals in my life.
the phone calls on speakerphone at 11:59 p.m. counting down.
the singing.
the facebook messages. the texts.
the strum of a guitar and a soulfool voice singing from california.
rememberance.

you're all beautiful. thank you for taking the time. to celebrate little ole me.

lucky. i am.
----

my voyage to the summer house was beautiful.
much needed.
a girls weekend, indeed.
i am sunkissed and grateful for such a loving, beautiful and creative family. they keep me afloat and balanced. we awoke at 7am this morning and did yoga. all six of us. outstretched on the beach and taking in the sights. smells. beauty. of nature. of one another.

ps: i had a dream last night about ryan adams, and returned to long island this evening to see his blog is back. i cant even make up that story. hooked, i am.

ciao!

tomorrow i leave (bright and early) for my family's house in fire island for a few days.
a birthday getaway.
much needed.
much deserved.
with all the important women in my life.
the next few days i am about to be embraced with love and i am taking it in with arms wide open.
i could not ask for more.

love. your. self.

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body's rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

~ Patricia Lynn Reilly, from Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself: Embracing Your Wholeness & Wisdom

for shea

i have had the honor of knowing shea since high school. although, we must admit, we were never really close in high school. it was always a quick 'hi bye' sort of friendship, the kind everyone gets accoustomed to in high school. the time came, and we both went to college. five years later, our paths crossed when we both got involved with working with the same youth group. times came back to us, laughter was found, friendship was re-stored, and we learned we had a common bond: sincere kindness.

shea and i will be working together at the catherine sheridan house, and i could not be more happy and honored to be working with not just a great individual, but a great friend as well. she is truly one of a kind, and i am more than grateful to have someone as wonderful as her in my life.

people always ask me where i get my inspiration from, and here it is. it's shea. it's you. it's a stranger. people are my inspiration. once i get to know someone, they become my life. i have had these little flower pendants for over a year. had no idea what i was going to do with them, or why i even purchased them. i was rumaging through my bead assortments a few months ago, when i came across them. they screamed: SHEA. it was as if my mind (subconsciously) knew to purchase them as a special token of my gratitude for her friendship. almost instantly, i put together this little treasure, and it screams her name. loud and clear. bold. with a smile.

(i didnt feel like breaking out the camera to photo the necklace, so we will have to make due with my mac web-cam horrible quality photos. which is a shame, because it doesnt give this little necklace half the credit it deserves! it may be one of my favourite pieces i have made for someone as of yet).


(self portrait to show where it falls).



(flower pendant w/ little red bead with a flower covering it. hard to see, but a little white crystal hanging as well to pick up colours).

all hung on a simple silver wire, with clasps in the back.
perfection.
i hope it warms your heart, shea-ho. :)

xoxo

so far

today is beautiful. (everyday is beautiful). i awoke early for an off-peak train to brooklyn. how i have missed that neighborhood. first stop was brooklyn heights for some work-related things, where once i was finished, i ate a delicious piece of pizza from tony's pizzeria on fulton street. (indulge indulge indulge!). made a new friend while eating my pizza. an elderly man who was eating ding dongs and reading the new york times. we shared the paper (me: the arts section. him: travel) and discussed the weather. when a gust of wind came and took away his napkins to liter the street, he ran after them. a man of my heart. saying our goodbyes, he gave me his treasured santa teresia a jesu infante prayer card, that he keeps in his shirt pocket. (folded. perfectly. worn-in.) for good luck and well wishes.
i then skipped my way to williamsburg, to do as any person would do. book shop. purchased some vintage style books which i am ready to dust off and add to my collection. looked at art. thought about purchasing a zillion scarves but stopped myself. (resistance). called my grandmother (my mama) and upon hearing my voice, she cried. as we were hanging up she said "hearing from you today is the highlight of my day! forget that! my weekend! i love you! you make me so proud!" hung up the phone in tears. she is the highlight of my LIFE. not just today or my weekend. my life. why is life so good to me? lately i have been filled with love, hope and creative energy. i am dancing on cloud 9. what makes you dance on cloud 9?

icing on the cake: george comes home tonight. :)

up there

in two weeks, i begin afresh. i put my two weeks in today. to start my new life. my life that has been calling me since i was in my mother's womb. a life of human services. a life of knitting with old lady friends. a life of gray hair and making someone smile. feeling good. feeling alive. everything seems perfect. similar. near. i am proud. i am happy.

my mother was a social services coordinator right before she passed away, but in a nursing home. now i have her title, in a different home. different setting. twenty-four years later, i am doing the same things. sharing the same bond. sharing similar stories. sharing the same internal love and respect for those who have graced this planet long before us. i never before felt so alive, and so close to my mother. i feel her presence with every step i take and i feel her smiling on me through the sunshine. it's beautiful. she pushed me into jobs that werent a good fit, and now she put me here. and it feels right. when my thoughts are going through my head, i hear her agreeing with me. talking to me. getting it. i have never felt this. i want to cry and bathe in its beauty, her words, and remember this moment forever. she is a beautiful person. my inspiration. i wish you and i, could sit with her and drink tea. discuss books. make pottery. braid our hair in the sun. laugh. lend a helping hand. tell you how special you are. those were her favorite things, and oddly enough - they are mine, too. i love her. missing her is an understatement, but this moment right now, gorgeous. she is.

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" -Mary Anne Radmacher

I BELIEVE IN:

- knowing that a cup of tea can solve any headache, worry, bug.
- people-watching.
- smiling at everyone, through the good and bad.
- doing at least one good deed a day, even if it goes un-noticed.
- YOGA. stretching my muscles and embracing them. breathing. movement.
- reading for pleasure. every night. even during finals week. at least one chapter a day.
- potato chips with french onion dip. :)
- learning. through news. life experiences. textbooks. you. a stranger. always expanding my mind.
- herbs. of all sorts.
- bike riding / walking to run errands. no need to take a car grocery shopping. hit the pavement and be at peace with mother nature.
- writing. at least one thought / lesson learned a day.
- spending money on other people. or candles.
- waiting for him.
- friends. all of them. for believing in me!
- going to restaurants alone and reading a book. newspaper. making new friends.
- carrying around the same nalgene bottle.
- faith. hope. love. peaceful hearts. forgiveness. anger. happiness. a good, long cry.
- butterflies in the stomach.
- MYSELF.

happy birthday, mb.

i hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
& each road leads you where you want to go,
& if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
i hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
& if one door opens to another door closed,
i hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

but more than anything, more than anything,
my wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
you never need to carry more than you can hold,
& while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
i hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

i hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
i hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
& you help somebody every chance you get,
oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
& you always give more than you take.


:::::
you are a beautiful soul.
all my best, always. xoxo.

a few things:

i have been creating up a storm lately. necklaces. bracelets. earrings. for me. for you. for family. for friends. every ounce of my paycheck has been going to beads&stitches and the fabulous etsy for supplies and vintage supplies. such a release. ive been getting my handwriting out there. sending wishes to those i admire. love. adore. saying hi. sending happiness. making someone smile. just you wait. you all deserve it.

i took a new job. good-bye visual merchandising and hell-o to the social services field. starting in september i will be the new social services coordinator in an assisted living home for some of the cutest elderly people in astoria, NY. i will be their friendly face when they need someone to talk to, someone to remind them of home, and more importantly: someone to be their friend. someone to stick up for them. and my personal favourite: someone to knit with. i am so happy with this decision, although it will be tough to leave my current place of employment. the upside is how rewarding it will be, the stories i will get to hear, and the cheer i can bring into someone's life. this position is right up my alley, and i accepted it with open arms and a big grin. not looking back. it is well deserved. it is perfect, for me.

ps: i am sleeping with the windows open for the first time this summer. crickets chirping and the stars dancing are exactly what i need.

first birthday parties for connor sean, backyard bbq's filled with friends from astoria and park slope, blueberry ale making a strong comeback into my life, high school reunions, and meeting some young lads from ireland and south america made up my yesterday.

today is a recap of yesterday, but a meeting at liberty state park for all points west music festival.

and, girl talk will be spinnin' some tunes. that right there, is the icing on the cake to a perfect weekend.

a classic:

:::::::::

it's been a whirl-wind past couple of days. things are beautiful. my friends are beautiful. and my nights have been spent in the presence with beautiful music. i couldnt ask for anything more right now.