mary is covered in henna and has escaped india in just the nick of time. she has seen the taj at it's moment of peace, meditated in new delhi and luckily, escaped before something horrific could have happened to her. i spent three days in a panic, walking on eggshells, and sighed such a huge relief upon receiving an email from her late friday night. someone was on her side. i question how bad things can happen to good people, and the attacks in india are just so questionable. attacks on anyone, are so questionable. why? lives lost who were so innocent. families broken up and last breaths were had in desperate measures. it's not fair. 

thanksgiving is, as always, beautiful. i am thankful for so much. i express gratitude on a daily basis, and have no issues with thanking those who help me become me. my biggest thanks this year, was probably the beautiful support system i have. the friends who really put up with my crazy schedule and are my own personal cheerleading team. they are good people.

however, with each holiday, comes a moment of solitude. a moment of grasping as many memories as i can with the family i love. being thankful for them, but knowing this could be it. and i do not mean to sound morbid, but i truly never know. i always worry where i will go when the moment comes, when i do not have a "home". where will i spend christmas eve? who will open gifts with me in the morning? it's a scary thought, but we should all face the thought. because really. you never know. 

i caught up with a beautiful old friend last night and drank vanilla chi's and frozen hot chocolates while splitting rainbow cake and listening to some beautiful folk music. we let it all out on the table and it was so refreshing. i felt so new and felt so re-newed. 

with change in the air, im looking for one. i dont know what, but im keeping my mind open. a change of heart? air? maybe even just bedsheets. but im looking.