up there

in two weeks, i begin afresh. i put my two weeks in today. to start my new life. my life that has been calling me since i was in my mother's womb. a life of human services. a life of knitting with old lady friends. a life of gray hair and making someone smile. feeling good. feeling alive. everything seems perfect. similar. near. i am proud. i am happy.

my mother was a social services coordinator right before she passed away, but in a nursing home. now i have her title, in a different home. different setting. twenty-four years later, i am doing the same things. sharing the same bond. sharing similar stories. sharing the same internal love and respect for those who have graced this planet long before us. i never before felt so alive, and so close to my mother. i feel her presence with every step i take and i feel her smiling on me through the sunshine. it's beautiful. she pushed me into jobs that werent a good fit, and now she put me here. and it feels right. when my thoughts are going through my head, i hear her agreeing with me. talking to me. getting it. i have never felt this. i want to cry and bathe in its beauty, her words, and remember this moment forever. she is a beautiful person. my inspiration. i wish you and i, could sit with her and drink tea. discuss books. make pottery. braid our hair in the sun. laugh. lend a helping hand. tell you how special you are. those were her favorite things, and oddly enough - they are mine, too. i love her. missing her is an understatement, but this moment right now, gorgeous. she is.